as most of you all figured out… the girl is only 5 and i kissed her on the head.
i can never doit again cuz i might get fired from my job that pays me nothing.
even if i die and was born again, you’ll be the only one

EMERGENCY LIVE UPDATE #2!!!!!!!!!

i kissed a girl today and she didn’t even flinch!!! she actually smiled!!!!
i kissed her and i was like CRAP!!! Y DID I DO THAT?!?!?!!?
but all she did was look up at me and smiled

EMERGENCY LIVE UPDATE!!!

so this weeks been “Sea Creature” week in my class. i’ve been introducing new sea cratures every day.
today’s sea creature was the Portuguese Man-of-war and i’ve been telling them about tentacles and such.
all of a sudden a boy raises his hands and the conversation went something like this.

Me: yes RJ. would u like to share something with the class?
RJ: yes… my dog went to the vet yesterday to get his TENTACLES cut off.
Me: …………. (long silence)

then i coudn’t help it no more. me and one of the helper moms in the classroom just busted up laughing.
(this happened to me like a month ago but with a girl, but i think this was funnier)

i HAD a friend name Eric…. he got married… now he only uses me when he gets bored.
this is how our conversation went.
Me: what the heck?!?!?! U CALLED ME!?!!?
Eric: yeah… i’m bored
Me: of what? ur married
Eric: i’m bored of her, i’m bored of Xbox, i’m bored of TV. come to LA
Me: (sobbing) THEN U’LL GET BORED OF ME TOO!!!
and i hung up… he is no longer my friend.

LOOK AT MY BODY!!!! I CANT BELIVE THAT WAS ME!!!!
LOOK AT THE BOOBS OF FURY!!! THE ARMS OF DESTRUCTION!!!
THE BACK OF GLORY!!!! THE SHOULDERS OF CRUSTACEANS!!!!
i’ve decided that i’m not coming back to HairsOnMyChest until i get that body back.
i dont care how long it takes. i will get it back and when i get it back….
oh the glorious day… can u smell it?
thank you faithful readers, just wait, just you wait until my body is sexy as Macy Gray’s voice.