DONE!

i’m done with school. i still have to take the RICA 4/22 but still… this is what it feels like

i have a final project due tomorrow which i knew about 3 months ago. so being a diligent student
that i am i started to work on it at around 7pm…. well i started to doit at 11am but didn’t reall start
until 7pm. i’ve been working on it for a while and i wanna die. i hate writing something that is not
true. the credential program at CSUF (i hate this school) taught me one thing. this program taught
me to lie, and to put it on paper. so i lie, and i write my lies. i will continue to lie all night, and so
you know what this means…  i have to update my xanga. enjoy.

ok… its 3:30am and i’m dying. i’m too darn old for this crap.
if anybody gets in my way tomorrow!!!! I’LL FALL ASLEEP ON THEM!!!!

Pain log….
4:20 am: almost 1/2 way done… i have energy to go on for another 10 hours
4:21 am: losing vision, shortness of breath, head spinning
4:25 am: slapped myself silly
4:26 am: up and ready to go. bring it on yo!!!
4:27 am: losing vision, shortness of breath, head spinning
4:40 am: took a 10 min nap, i’m energized and ready to go again
4:41 am: losing vision, shortness of breath, head spinning
5:00 am: took a 20 min nap, i’m energized and ready to go again
6:24 am: crap!!!! i just woke up… i’m dead. goodbye world
8:39 am: about 80% done… losing vision, seeing images of heaven….

there is a boy with a flower pot and a gallon of smiles
he looks into his flower and speaks to it with soft sprinkles of water and desire
which drizzles down from her neck to the panning glances and she tastes the fragrance with her eyes
this feeling which i’ve forgot, the heart attack… like cigarette smoke
she doesn’t even stop to hear my heart skip and drop
and i lay there on my bed wishing my dimes didn’t fall from my brow
and still heard no melodies from her to me

At the center of the world there is a statue of a girl.
She is standing near a well with a bucket bare and dry.
I went and looked her in the eye and she turned me into sand.
This clumsy form that I despise it scattered easy in her hand.
And came to rest upon a beach, with a million others there.
We sat and waited for the sea to stretch out,
so that we could disappear into the endlessness of blue,
into the horror of the truth.